Here we go:
1.) They are OBSESSED with driving stick. They love their manual transmissions like I love Disney and it makes no sense. I mean shifting is a whole bunch of fun when you're off-roading but in stop and go morning traffic, not so much. You can't drink your coffee, you can't pick your nose, you can't even slap your kids because both hands are busy ALL THE TIME. Shifting is work people, get over it. Jeff and I finally got our cars and we both got automatics and let me tell you, it was like trying to find 2 needles in a haystack. We'd be working the search critieria and the minute you checked "automatic transmission" the number of cars available would go from 427 to 8. Wow!
2.) Doesn't matter what your race, creed or socio-economic status is, if you're under the age of 12 shoes seem to be optional. Kids are barefoot all over the place here and it's not about poverty. Kids get out of luxury SUV's and walk all around barefoot. In the grocery store, the mall, Home Depot, the Airport, public toilets, you name it - kids are barefoot. And don't go thinkin' that it's because things are all lovely and pristine here... it's Africa. Things are DIR-TY. No one picks up dog poop, there's litter and there's broken glass. Help me understand! Can't you get some kind of horrible parasite through the bottoms of your feet? Yuck. Somebody call that guy at Tom's and tell him that PE needs shoes.
3.) They love sports like it's their job. Really. I'm thinking in the next 10 years they're going to be killing us at the Olympics for a few reasons. 1. There are a lot more of us but the percentage of Americans thin and fit enough to participate in sports is a number roughly equivalent to the population of Monaco. 2. The South Africans start sport early and they are SERIOUS about it. Teddy does swimming, cricket, tennis and judo. And let me tell you this is not "splash around and have fun in the pool", "hey we're all winners" sport like we have in the US. When they're in the pool they are racing each other, analyzing their stokes, and trying to be better. At age 6. On the soccer field there's no celebrating second place with ice cream and participation medals. If you lose you are a LOSER and you may want to go back and watch the film and figure out where you went wrong so you can work on your skills for next time. Also on the weekends, it's pretty common to see grown men and women walking around with their faces painted in all kinds of team colors for whatever sport is being played that day. They're serious folks.
4.) The entire country is bi-lingual. Makes me feel very inadequate. All the blacks speak English and Xhosa and all the whites speak English, Africaans and some of them also speak "one or two" African languages. This involves a lot of clicking and it's quite impressive. I have had to explain to many people that Americans are linguistically challenged. It's not OUR fault that the rest of the word speaks English so well that we don't have to learn anything else right?!?
5.) They looooooove their school uniforms. Adorable children are all over town in various versions. You read my last blog entry so you know what I'm taking about.
6.) There's only one radio station in town - Algoa FM and I mean there's only ONE RADIO STATION. As in when you get out of your car and the song gets cut abruptly short, you hear the song pick up from all the cars around you and the establishment you are about to enter. If some dictator wants a good platform to indoctrinate an entire city, look no farther. We're all listening all the time. 'Cuz that's all there is.
7.) The aforementioned radio station plays cheesy, cheesy, CHEEEEESY music. In a GOOD way. It's shocking. Peter Cetera followed by Aretha Franklin/George Michael duets "Kneeew you were waiting for meeee.." and pretty much the entire soundtrack from A night at the Roxbury. "What is Looove? Baby don't hurt me...." All the songs you're embarrassed to admit you secretly know all the words to they play. It's like the entire town is one big acappella group that's trying to determine their new fall song list. And I love it. My kids are constantly like "You KNOW this song?" as I sing away. I'm easy to spot in town... I'm the chick in the car with the Disney sticker and the automatic transmission belting out "Secret Lovers" at the stoplight.
8.)They like to "braai". This is grilling out over a wood fire. They have Braai'ing grill/cooker things instead of gas grills. Braai'ing is fun like once a year. After that I'm pretty much over it. Do you know how long it takes for a wood fire to burn down to coals that you can cook over??? Too damn long, that's how long. You start the fire at about 5pm if you want to eat at 9. By that time I have eaten my pets. They turn it into a whole event mostly I think just to have an excuse to hang out and drink around a fire. But here's the thing... you can eat and then just have a fire to drink and hang out around. I'm going to revolutionize them with this concept. We bought a gas grill. Like the dad on Phineas and Ferb says, "You Americans are like big, fun children." Yes, yes we are. And we do NOT have the attention span to cook over wood. Let's eat NOW and then we can hang out around the fire and relax. Cooking marshmellos is a concession I will make, but it's the only one. If someone ever invites you to a South African braai, do yourself a favor... bring a snack because you're not going to eating for a WHILE.
9.) Terminology. I'm still trying to figure it all out. But the biggest problem I'm having revolves around the concept of "now". If someone tells you that they'll be with you "just now" wouldn't you think that means immediately? Think again. The rough translation of "Just now" is actually: "NOT now, and BTW, I have no idea WHEN I'm going to be able to help you but it's probably not for a while." And then there's "Now, now" and I still have no idea what THAT one means...
10.) They are obsessed with dried meats. SERIOUSLY obsessed. It's called Biltong and it comes in many different animal variations. Some of it is in strips, some in "wors" which is like a dried sausage, and you can get it in all kinds of flavors. They eat biltong the way we eat ice cream. Every mall has biltong shops and people are lined up to buy it. If you go to an outdoor event there will be not one but SEVERAL dedicated biltong carts. They even have a section of the grocery store devoted to biltong. I'm not making this up. You know how the aisles are labeled "dairy, baking goods, produce, ect.." They have a section for Biltong. It's actually quite good.
That's just the first 10 things that have hit me in our first 6 weeks. So If I come home to the US a shoeless, sports-loving, beef jerky eating, manual transmission-driving, singer of cheesy songs you'll all know why...
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